They started banging on the windchimes at 4 am; hammering on the perfectly tuned to the key of C chimes, transforming them into clang,bang,banging tuneless chunks of metal. All we need now is the booming bellow of the drums as they pound on the doors. A storm is approaching...
Truly, a winter, no wait, this is spring. A spring snow storm is forecast for today and tomorrow. Snow, maybe lots of snow and wind, but we already know about the wind. Winter is sneaking in behind spring to deliver a last, one hopes it is the last, sucker punch. There is nothing we can do about the storm except prepare as we are able and wait for it to arrive and then, for it to leave. I have to travel to the Cities today and that might be interesting in all sorts of ways that may not be fun. But really, it is just bad weather and it will pass. This is after all, spring. That is what the calendar says.
There is this other storm coming though. One that possesses a much greater potential for true devastation. Like the spring blizzard that we know is coming, we wait and prepare...
The orcs of cancer are pounding on the doors of friends and loved ones. My sister-in-law Judy, has breast cancer and is going in soon for a masectomy. One of my best friends was just diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer. Sue and John are still in the discovery stage of their journey, finding they have more questions than answers. Karen and I know, we remember, what that is like. There is no way to avoid the fears. You have to face them. You have to be angry and cry and curse and rage at the injustice of this most terrible of afflictions. And then, you have to wipe your eyes, bite your lip and start moving.
Movement is the answere. Sue's friend in Wyoming told her the key is Relentless Forward Movement. When I told that to Karen, she nodded. She understood. From years of raising and working with horses, she knew that was wise advice. I am paraphrasing but basically it goes like this "As long as you keep their feet moving you have a chance. When the feet aren't moving, you can't tell what the horse is going to do. Anything can happen then."
So we all keep moving. Terry and Judy, Sue and John. Their daughters, their friends and family, You and I, all of us, keep moving. Keep working on helping to make them better. Send prayers. They are cheap, easy and effective and you don't need a computer or phone to do it. Send love. Send peace. But whatever we do, we need to keep moving. Relentless Forward Movement will be our mantra, and as long as we are fighting the orcs, it can be our battle cry as well. Maybe we can get flags and T-shirts, too?
So, I am going to move now, into the kitchen and scare up something for breakfast. Then I will move to work and later today, I will be moving through the storm to get to the Cities. The key is I will be moving and I will pass through the storm and come out on the other side, tired but safe and alive. This is what we want for Judy and Sue. We need to help them move through the storm to come out on the other side.
The orcs are still banging around on the windchimes like meth-crazed monkeys with crowbars but we are not afraid. We are Relentless Forward Movement.
Peace and love to you all.
Mike
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Relativity
This is not about Einstein, or physics. Nothing about the speed of light or the mass of a photon. It is about gravity; not the force that holds us down, but gravity as in something that is serious, or grave or deadly.
There have been plenty of examples of gravity lately, of those things that are serious; things that lead to the grave. The fighting in Libya where people are dying to be free. The unimaginable horror and devastation that hit Japan. My mind cannot conceive of what these people are suffering. I see brief news clips on-line, or hear stories on the radio but...I distance myself, on purpose. That is a hard admission to make. Taken the wrong way my admission might paint me as some kind of uncaring bastard. I mean, those people really have it rough. What do I have in my life that is more important than reaching out to help those in need?
This is where the relativity comes in. A couple weeks ago my sister-in-law was told she has breast cancer. No one needs cancer. I think I said something to that effect in a blog, long ago. Judy definitely does not need this shit. Terry and Judy were instrumental in my recovery. They journeyed to Bemidji to spend time with us and Terry was a rock when Karen needed one in the long wait for me to come out of surgery. They put us on umpteen prayer chains and checked in on us the whole way. Terry had a pacemaker installed not long ago. They are happily retired, living life and now this.
The past month has been tough for Karen. She was diagnosed with diverticulitis and it has been difficult watching her struggle with the pain and discomfort. She is better now but still wary of what she eats, for fear of triggering another attack.
And we are waiting for news on a dear friend who will be undergoing a biopsy soon. The very word-biopsy- conjures up all the worst we can imagine. So now we are hoping and praying for the best possible report.
So, while all these terrible events are happening on the other side of the world, we have been dealing with things that are in our face, up close and personal. It isn't that none of us involved don't care. It is just that we have these other things that are happening to us, or to our loved ones; our relatives.
I think it is human nature to judge what is happening against what is happening to us, or has happened to us in the past. We gauge our discomfort relative to past experience or what others have experienced. We tend to focus on ourselves and our world because it is immediate and, it is about us. I spent a lot of time this winter focused on what I wanted. I had to have a kind of wake-up call to make me pay better attention to the other very real needs of my life with Karen.
I have been thinking about this for a while. Maybe I should have thought about it more before I put it on the blog. Maybe I should have kept it all to myself but now it is out there. I am not really sure where I am going with this but I think it comes down to these things. Reach out in prayer and peace to those people in Japan and the Mid-East, who are struggling and suffering. Help in whatever ways you are comfortable with. And don't forget about those loved ones and friends that are close to you. Sometimes the best thing we can do to help is to work on those things are closest in our lives. Making our own personal worlds better, making them places of love and peace, does have an impact far beyond what we can see or know.
Peace and love to you all.
Mike
There have been plenty of examples of gravity lately, of those things that are serious; things that lead to the grave. The fighting in Libya where people are dying to be free. The unimaginable horror and devastation that hit Japan. My mind cannot conceive of what these people are suffering. I see brief news clips on-line, or hear stories on the radio but...I distance myself, on purpose. That is a hard admission to make. Taken the wrong way my admission might paint me as some kind of uncaring bastard. I mean, those people really have it rough. What do I have in my life that is more important than reaching out to help those in need?
This is where the relativity comes in. A couple weeks ago my sister-in-law was told she has breast cancer. No one needs cancer. I think I said something to that effect in a blog, long ago. Judy definitely does not need this shit. Terry and Judy were instrumental in my recovery. They journeyed to Bemidji to spend time with us and Terry was a rock when Karen needed one in the long wait for me to come out of surgery. They put us on umpteen prayer chains and checked in on us the whole way. Terry had a pacemaker installed not long ago. They are happily retired, living life and now this.
The past month has been tough for Karen. She was diagnosed with diverticulitis and it has been difficult watching her struggle with the pain and discomfort. She is better now but still wary of what she eats, for fear of triggering another attack.
And we are waiting for news on a dear friend who will be undergoing a biopsy soon. The very word-biopsy- conjures up all the worst we can imagine. So now we are hoping and praying for the best possible report.
So, while all these terrible events are happening on the other side of the world, we have been dealing with things that are in our face, up close and personal. It isn't that none of us involved don't care. It is just that we have these other things that are happening to us, or to our loved ones; our relatives.
I think it is human nature to judge what is happening against what is happening to us, or has happened to us in the past. We gauge our discomfort relative to past experience or what others have experienced. We tend to focus on ourselves and our world because it is immediate and, it is about us. I spent a lot of time this winter focused on what I wanted. I had to have a kind of wake-up call to make me pay better attention to the other very real needs of my life with Karen.
I have been thinking about this for a while. Maybe I should have thought about it more before I put it on the blog. Maybe I should have kept it all to myself but now it is out there. I am not really sure where I am going with this but I think it comes down to these things. Reach out in prayer and peace to those people in Japan and the Mid-East, who are struggling and suffering. Help in whatever ways you are comfortable with. And don't forget about those loved ones and friends that are close to you. Sometimes the best thing we can do to help is to work on those things are closest in our lives. Making our own personal worlds better, making them places of love and peace, does have an impact far beyond what we can see or know.
Peace and love to you all.
Mike
Friday, March 4, 2011
The Seven Plagues of Egypt
Just call me Job. For the past month and a half I have had one thing or another and I have to point out it all started with trying to get into better shape.
I bought a Gazelle, which is a gliding thing with no electrical parts (just in case we end up back in the tipi). It's kinda like cross country skiing with out the skinny little skis to fall off of. I could have gotten a Nordic Track, and there are a lot of free ones on Craig's List, which should be a clue as to how much fun they are, but in all the times I've tried them I've injured myself. So, it's a Gazelle.
Now, maybe I should have gone slower or maybe all this was inevitable anyhow but, I got on that thing and went to town. Seven days later I found myself in the worst Fibromyalgia flare in the history of me. This was not only painful but pissed me off. I bought the Gazelle to help get into shape. To help alleviate pain. To help get strong and there I was flat on my back. A trip to the doctor and a prescription later I was on the way to recovery. Oh, and no Gazelling for 10 days. I did research, I contacted my physical therapist friend. I needed to start out slower on the exercise thing. WAY slower.
At day eight of my exercise ban, just when I was getting excited about getting back on and gliding into health, I got the flu. Again, flat on my back. Chest congestion, coughing, nausea, high fever, headache, skin hurting flu. That hung out for about a week. Then, well, you know, the monthly girl thing showed up.
Finally, eleven days and a ton of research ago I put on my exercise clothes, dialed ZZ Top into my IPod and got back on the horse or antelope if you will. I put in my ten, yes you heard that, ten minutes and stepped off. Okay, so it was going to be really slow, still, I did something. The next morning I woke up, at two in the morning, with abdominal pain.
A trip to the Walk-In Clinic at Sanford Health and a CT scan later showed I had diverticulitis. Antibiotics, 2500 mg a day of antibiotics, was prescribed as was a clear liquid diet for 48 hours, advance your diet as tolerated and eat plenty of fiber. I was out flat again. A week off work with no energy to do anything but watch Ice Road Truckers and when that was done start Ax Men on Netflix. One day into work. Then flat out for two days again. The antibiotics made me sick to my stomach and gave me a metallic taste in my mouth. I called MY doctor this time. Her nurse, god bless her she's my hero, said, and I quote "root beer". Root beer turns out to be the antidote for the nausea caused by the one antibiotic (Flagyl). In 24 hours I was feeling better!
Yesterday I woke up with "that little itch" down in the nether-parts. I zoomed to Walgreens before work and picked up the supplies. Later, in the day, as I had a few bites of a co-worker birthday cake I noticed my tongue felt like fur. So did the roof of my mouth. I went to the lavatory, swished and stuck my tongue out. THRUSH! I called my doctor. She called a prescription.
Today is my last day on antibiotics. I'm looking forward to feeling better. Still, I have this sense of what next? I said to Mike last night as we shook hands good night....oh wait let me digress a moment. Here are the avenues of pleasure that have been cut off to me: alcohol, food, sex, and now kissing because of the thrush. My knitting friends reminded me I still have that. So, as Mike and I shook hands good night I mentioned that at least I haven't had an allergic reaction to the medications. But today's not over. I'll keep you posted! In the meantime, just call me Job.
Peace,
Karen
PS: There may be a Gazelle posting in Craig's List Bemidji
I bought a Gazelle, which is a gliding thing with no electrical parts (just in case we end up back in the tipi). It's kinda like cross country skiing with out the skinny little skis to fall off of. I could have gotten a Nordic Track, and there are a lot of free ones on Craig's List, which should be a clue as to how much fun they are, but in all the times I've tried them I've injured myself. So, it's a Gazelle.
Now, maybe I should have gone slower or maybe all this was inevitable anyhow but, I got on that thing and went to town. Seven days later I found myself in the worst Fibromyalgia flare in the history of me. This was not only painful but pissed me off. I bought the Gazelle to help get into shape. To help alleviate pain. To help get strong and there I was flat on my back. A trip to the doctor and a prescription later I was on the way to recovery. Oh, and no Gazelling for 10 days. I did research, I contacted my physical therapist friend. I needed to start out slower on the exercise thing. WAY slower.
At day eight of my exercise ban, just when I was getting excited about getting back on and gliding into health, I got the flu. Again, flat on my back. Chest congestion, coughing, nausea, high fever, headache, skin hurting flu. That hung out for about a week. Then, well, you know, the monthly girl thing showed up.
Finally, eleven days and a ton of research ago I put on my exercise clothes, dialed ZZ Top into my IPod and got back on the horse or antelope if you will. I put in my ten, yes you heard that, ten minutes and stepped off. Okay, so it was going to be really slow, still, I did something. The next morning I woke up, at two in the morning, with abdominal pain.
A trip to the Walk-In Clinic at Sanford Health and a CT scan later showed I had diverticulitis. Antibiotics, 2500 mg a day of antibiotics, was prescribed as was a clear liquid diet for 48 hours, advance your diet as tolerated and eat plenty of fiber. I was out flat again. A week off work with no energy to do anything but watch Ice Road Truckers and when that was done start Ax Men on Netflix. One day into work. Then flat out for two days again. The antibiotics made me sick to my stomach and gave me a metallic taste in my mouth. I called MY doctor this time. Her nurse, god bless her she's my hero, said, and I quote "root beer". Root beer turns out to be the antidote for the nausea caused by the one antibiotic (Flagyl). In 24 hours I was feeling better!
Yesterday I woke up with "that little itch" down in the nether-parts. I zoomed to Walgreens before work and picked up the supplies. Later, in the day, as I had a few bites of a co-worker birthday cake I noticed my tongue felt like fur. So did the roof of my mouth. I went to the lavatory, swished and stuck my tongue out. THRUSH! I called my doctor. She called a prescription.
Today is my last day on antibiotics. I'm looking forward to feeling better. Still, I have this sense of what next? I said to Mike last night as we shook hands good night....oh wait let me digress a moment. Here are the avenues of pleasure that have been cut off to me: alcohol, food, sex, and now kissing because of the thrush. My knitting friends reminded me I still have that. So, as Mike and I shook hands good night I mentioned that at least I haven't had an allergic reaction to the medications. But today's not over. I'll keep you posted! In the meantime, just call me Job.
Peace,
Karen
PS: There may be a Gazelle posting in Craig's List Bemidji
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