Polyethylene, Desitin and Propel

I have not had a tube of Desitin in my house since Stevie wore short pants. The last encounter I remember having with a tube of the sticky, white, medicinal smelling stuff involved Dan, Kris and the painting of a dark brown wicker changing table. We never did get all out of the cracks - no pun intended. Having said that, there I was today, in Walgreens purchasing a tube, for myself.

See, I'm preparing for tomorrows colonoscopy and EGD or in longer form esophagogastroduodensdope - save that one for your next scrabble game. Some unwanted and very annoying GI symptoms have triggered a "look see". So, tomorrow at 9 am I'm going to have things scoped out. Dr Roy, the same surgeon that found Mike's cancer, will be performing the procedure. He's a down to earth, good looking, in a younger Brett Favre kinda way, guy. Why him? Simple! If any man is going to go where no man has gone before, well, I want him to be good looking. Also, if I have to get any kind of disquieting news. I want the man telling me to at least be worth looking at!

Anyhow. Desitin.

There is this prep you have to go through before the "look see." Suffice to say that constipation won't be a problem for the next 24 hours and the Dr will be able to "see himself" in my most darkest recesses. To make this happen there are some little pills and a lot of fluid with polyethylene glycol  added to it. One is supposed to mix this in 64 ounces of Gatorade and 2 hours after the little pills drink a glass every 15 minutes until the end result (again no pun intended) is clear. Yup.

Here's where we need to talk about how much I like Gatorade. Not so much. I'd drink pond water first. I said this to our friends John and Sue. Sue has just gone through the same procedure, I don't know about the attractiveness of her surgeon, but I do now know Sue and John are both liars. "Oh, get Propel! It's way better than Gatorade" they both said. Pond water is better than Gatorade so what should this have told me? But, I was convinced and bought some Berry flavored Propel energy drink, dumped in my synthetic, probably petroleum based, cleansing powder and set the timer on the stove.

In 45 minutes I had four glasses down and was completely nauseated. I poured glass 5. It sat on the counter as I walked around it, up to it, away from it. I contemplated pouring it down the drain; lying to my Dr and telling him I drank it all and this is the best we could do. Instead, I drank it, gagging the whole time. I reread the instructions. It seemed to say if the other end ran clear I could stop and it seemed about to....run from the other end.

Sue was not the only person I took advice from. My sister complained about her butt. Said it burned something fierce after her prep. This I knew how to handle. On my first of MANY trips to the bathroom I applied Desitin to the soon to be affected area. I got an 'attagirl' from my friend Tammy for being proactive on this account. I note that Tammy is a friend with a special kind of fortitude. She offered to come Potty Bomb my toilet while I am at Same Day Surgery tomorrow. I declined. I like her too much.  I also, on my  sister's advice bought some aloe infused baby wipes.

It's been a couple of hours now. I've stopped drinking the Propel and now that I write the name of that drink I am sure John and Sue were fucking with me. My nausea has subsided and I have no burning in the lower unit and as they say "all's clear."

Now it's just a waiting game. Tomorrow I will know something. Today what I know is this:

1) I will never be a professional athlete or probably any kind of athlete because I can't stand sports drinks.

2) Next time I do this prep I am going to mix the polyethylene glycol in scotch.

3) Desitin is the best invention in the world and my kids should be thankful beyond belief that I used it on their little bottoms back in the day.

4) Tomorrow a potato chip will never have tasted so good.

and 5) Don't be so trusting of Sue when she is on pain meds. It brings out her mean streak.

Peace boyz and gurlz!
Karen

Full Circle

Spring is getting a "do-over". We have 6-8" of new snow outside this morning. Just another fine example of Minnesota weather. But it is only weather.

Yesterday I attended a visitation for Jack Reynolds. He died recently of brain cancer. Jack and his wife, Patty, along with Tom and Yvonne Sunnarborg, started Cancer Connections years ago. Yvonne was one of my first visitors when I had my first cancer back in '91. She is a breast cancer survivor. Jack survived Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Together these couples started a much needed support group to help the rest of us in our journey with cancer. They poured their hearts and souls into the group and kept it going for a long time. Sadly, but with complete understanding, the group has not been in existence for quite a few years. I am sure it took quite a toll on their own lives.

I remember Jack as always smiling and upbeat and fun to be around. He helped many of us so I was shocked and saddened to see his obituary in the paper the other day. I had no idea cancer had returned to his life.

In some ways this has been a tough winter. Jack's passing this week. Dann, a friend from school-also brain cancer and another friend of Jack's, died this winter.  Muriel's daughter Margie, had lung cancer last year and now she has been diagnosed with brain cancer. My sister-in-law, Judy, with breast cancer. And Sue, with colon cancer. It is getting to the point where we do not want to hear anything more unless it is good news. Who could blame us? The truth is, we have no choice.

When Karen and I lived in the tipi we learned the power of the circle. We experienced the old saying-"That what goes 'round comes 'round". Pain kept coming back around and around until we converted it to joy. Joy just kept going 'round and 'round by itself. A day like today with wet snow, or worse, rain, would not have been fun in the tipi. I do appreciate a hard roof over my head but I think Karen would agree that we both miss the tipi, miss living in the circle and power it contains.

Given what is happening to friends and loved ones lately I am beginning to wonder if Jack ever felt like he survived so he could help others. It makes me wonder about my own life and why I am alive. It makes me wonder if I am not coming full circle.

For the memory of Jack and Dann and the continued support for Judy, Sue and Margie-
Peace and love to you all,
Mike