A Little Rant from the Spousal Unit

Morning boyz & gurls!


I'm back from town and on my second cup of coffee. I took Mike into work after dropping the van off at the shop to get it's Johnson Rod fixed. I'll head back in to work in about an hour.


While the sun is shining out and there is more sky than clouds this morning it's a little dark and dreary at the Forbes household. Mike is very upset, frustrated, and discouraged. He, we, don't seem to be getting any place with the U of M. It's been three weeks and we still don't have a clear plan. In fact at this point we don't have

1) MRI results
2) Final Rectal Ultrasound results (just a sort of verbal from Dr Swedish Chef)
3) Stage of Cancer
4) Any sort of appointment with Dr Madoff


There was some talk two days ago and, apparently, a little yesterday of seeing a Radiology Oncologist and THEN seeing Madoff. This makes no sense to us as we were given options at our first appointment, thought we'd be talking about options after all the tests were done and now it would appear a decision is being made for us. And that's NOT OK. There was also talk of seeing radioloy on Tuesday and the Dr on Wednesday and this was AFTER Mike told Katie (you remember her from yesterday) that we were already going to be in Minneapolis on Monday on a return trip from a wedding and could we possibly do this on Monday?

It appears that Katie has no concept of where Bemidji is (4 hours from Minneapolis) and that work hours and PTO hours must be used for such appointments plus hotel rooms and travel expenses and we don't have unlimited funds for this. It also appears that there is no sense of what all this waiting does to a person. It's enough for a person to find out they have cancer and be devestated by that news, it's hard emotionally, but then to further add to the distress by handling the treatment process in a totally inadequate manner and further add to stress is incomprehensible to me.

Back when I was in nursing school my instructor told us all that 90% of healing occurs in the brain. I belive this. I don't know if they don't teach this anymore, or if the medical profession like so many other professions is being driven by the money factor or what? Some important part is missing.

I understand Mike is not the only one in the world with cancer but tell that to him! To him...he IS the only one with cancer. To me he is the only one with cancer. You can't and shouldn't hand a cancer diagnosis to a person like a cookie to a little kid and then tell them to go play until I call you. That is not OK.

So what do you do? I can't call. All the Privacy Laws in place make that impossible. How do you get the medical community to understand that they are treating people not diseases and with those people come entire communities?

Mike called Emily (Dr Roy's nurse) yesterday who, in turn, talked to Dr Roy, who said, he'd call Madoff. I suspect we will get some answers today, test results I hope, a real plan with real appointments I pray. I believe if we don't have something today we will be looking for an alternative to the U of M.

It should never have had to get to this.

Mike is at work and upset for the day. Feeling a bit impotent I believe. Me? I'm at a loss. I don't know what I can do except be here and be calm for Mike. It's a hard thing this watching. I don't know what I can do for Mike except love him and I do love him, like I've never loved anyone.

Peace,
Karen