Ok, so this is a bit of a rant. Why is it that the businesses that sell quality toilet paper, stock the crappiest stuff imaginable in their restrooms? Don't you ever wonder that while you're sitting there? More than once, I have wanted to hike up my jeans and take a stroll down to aisle 9 and grab a roll of the good stuff from the shelf and return to finish the job. I mean, you can have your choice of Ultra-Soft, or Extra-Strong, or Super-Aborbent, or Aloe or lotion, or perfumed or not. The choices are there. So why do retailers insist on shitty toilet tissue?
Honest to God, I swear the paper they use is recycled from discarded sheetrock, dug up in landfills and reprocessed to the thinnest degree possible. How else can they get 10,000 feet on one of those giant rolls? I checked the rolls in our bathroom closet and did the math. 35.75 feet per roll. To get the same quality from the rolls in stores you would have to fold their product back on itself a million times. Granted I do not use the toilet paper on my bum anymore, but I do need the protection of some absorbency when I am in a public restroom. For those of you who played the Home Ostomy game, you may understand what I am talking about. By the way, when emptying your bag in a toilet, you face backwards.
Sorry, I jumped the track. I am remined of an old Bill Cosby routine where he talks about going to school for the first time and buying one of those Big Chief notebooks, where pages have big spaces between the lines for young hands learning how to print. He remarked on the quality of the paper as being so crude, it still had the knots from the trees on all the pages. Kind of like some of the cardboard that accompanies most of the stuff that comes from China; it still has straw in it.
Like I said, I just don't get it and probably I am the only one who thinks it is not only wrong, but wierd. Then again, maybe it is just the 'roids talking. Not hemorrhoids, but the steroids I am on during my chemo cycle. Life is interesting on drugs. There is no way I would be up this late doing this blog without the influence of steroids.
So, peace and love and goodnight. Thanks for your indulgence on a subject no one talks about.
Happy Wiping!
Mike
1 comment:
I can't help but agree. Maybe in protest we each need to open a pack of TP on the shelf and carry it with us when we go to the public bathroom. You really can't say it's shoplifting since you won't be removing it from the store (except of course the part that goes down the drain). Anyway, I may not be on 'roids but I do have 'rhoids so I can really relate to this blog. BTW the chocolate poodding was very messy - I think I must have used at least 2 rolls of toilet paper.... XXOO
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