Bare Skin

When I was a young boy one of my greatest bedtime pleasures came when my mom used to tickle me. Not the best way to get a kid calmed down for bedtime but I loved it when she asked "Where's the bare skin?" before she started tickling my ribs. I was too young to know she was talking about naked skin. I always thought she was talking about real bear skin but my enjoyment was genuine.

Karen and I are both sensual people; ie., we both love the feel of each others' skin. We try as much as possible to make sure there is nothing between us at bedtime, but skin. But real bare skin is more of a rarity at our house these days. My ostomy restricts the amount of skin and the time available for us to share that skin. So when Karen read my morning note saying maybe we could have bare belly time tonight, she almost cried.

The shower is where we find bare skin these days. Like lots of things in life, timing is everything and sometimes I have the timing right. Tonight wasn't really one of those times. Bare skin comes about by removing my bag and hoping my ostomy doesn't decide to poop but we weren't that lucky.

For a moment put aside your squeamishness or inhibitions and try to imagine what you would do to get something you really want and need from your loved one. Would you risk taking a shower when you know their belly might poop at any moment? Would you accept that chance to get your bare skin time? Wouldn't you be willing to share these moments that are both intimate and embarrassing, to preserve one of the pleasures you used to take for granted?

We cannot change my ostomy; we can only change how we deal with it. If we let my ostomy limit every aspect of my life, of our life together, what do we have? We try to limit the intrusions and we do have many things we still have to learn how to manage in our day to day living, but we do have choices. And our choice is to live as normal a life as possible. So we put up with a pooping belly as the occasional price we pay to continue sharing one of our greatest intimacies. Wouldn't you?

Peace and love to our friends and family,
Mike