Having and Wanting

This is my first Cavendoli art piece. Cavendoli is a form of macrame and is comprised of horizontal and vertical half hitch knots. In this case it is done with c-lon thread - think carpet thread. They're little. They're tiny. They're addicting and they are all I want to do, much to the dismay of my sewing and knitting.

Mike's been pretty impressed with this. He watched me struggle with the framework or armature as it's also called. He watched rows of knots go in and those same rows come out, not once, not twice but several many times. A lot was learned from this tiny piece (3x5 inches) mostly what it taught me was that it takes patience to make art and the art itself will always be your best teacher.

When I wasn't working on it I was thinking about it. I was wanting to go back to it and never felt like I had to. There were no deadlines. Nobody expecting it. There was no "having". The process was pure, unadulterated "wanting". Each time I approached it there was joy in being with the knots and with the product they were wanting to be. I opened my hand and my mind and art became form. The whole experience was peaceful, yes, even the "unkotting".

This past week Bemidji Community Arts Center announced it's member's show. Mike, who joined at their individual level, and I'll let him 'splain that, suggested I submit this piece. Knowing I wasn't the member I thought I could be immune from the show, but no, he could submit any art he did or owned and could submit the piece for me. I ignored his request. He tried it again a few days ago and then again tonight. Feeling a little pressured I explained what entering the piece would mean for me at this point, it would be the difference between having and wanting.

I've been listening to what this piece wants. I learned to listen to the art on another collaborative piece I'm involved with and boy that piece will NOT accept anything it does not want. I feel that if I were to submit this piece (and for god's sake I should name it) I'd have to have it mounted and framed and would I have enough time to get that done? I'd feel like it was something I HAD to do. I'd have to have it done up for the show and then I'd be obligated to it...it...it....it would become a, I shudder to say, responsibility. I would fear, at this point anyhow, that my newly found art form, the form that flows from me, through me and draws me to it would lose it's luster because I had to do something with it and more might be expected and I'd have to... well you get it don't you? I'm not ready for this to feel like something I have to do. I want  to want it. I want it to control me not visa versa.

So, no show. I'm gonna be a no show artist. For now anyhow. Oh I'll post pictures. I may make a few pieces to give away or sell but for now my art is my art and that's how I want it.

Peace,
Karen