Another postcard from Recovery Camp

It has been awhile since I last wrote but I have been a busy boy. I have a better understanding of people who are retired and too busy to get anything done. That is what life is like for me these days. So many things to do and so little time to do them, even though I am not working.

I paid a visit to work last week to check in on the boyz. They were happy to see me because I brought donuts. Nice to be appreciated. And I spent part of another day in town getting groceries and a new chimney cap. My whole grocery shopping experience took place in the dark because that section of town lost electricity about the time I was making my way down the produce aisle.

Friday we ventured to Roger Maris Cancer Center to visit with Dr. Shahidi, my ocologist.  My new chemo regimen may begin on the 18th of this month. I will be receiving an infusion which is a two hour procedure and then get hooked up to my friend, the portable chemo pump. I only have to wear the pump for two days at a time. My chemo will be every two weeks, not every week as I had thought earlier. I am a bit worried about the infusion. Something in the way Dr. Shahidi explained the process leads me to believe this infusion is going to kick my butt in all sorts of evil ways. What is kind of ironic are the side effects I will experience.  This past summer I had an increased sensitivity to sunlight and heat.  Now I will have an increased sensitivity to cold. This should be fun with winter coming on. Plus I may experience tingling and numbness in my fingers and toes. Hopefully that won't get bad enough to affect my dexterity and the ability to use my hands and fingers. These side-effects are supposed to leave when the treatment is over.

Friday was a long day for me. Lots of sitting and that can still be difficult for my rear end. But Karen and I had a great time. She was very patient with me and shopped extra slow while I tried to nap in the van. I was beat when we got home.

I made a late-morning appearance at Brother Wiebe's deer camp on Saturday. I did see 4 deer but had no shots. I even got up way too early yesterday and went again. No deer for me but Jeff got one. When the rain came in the afternoon I took shelter in their sugar shack. Cindi had us up for dinner along with Mark and Wendy, and Tommy. Mark and Jeff sure like my Tullamore Dew. I took this morning off and slept in and I am glad I did. This morning is just beautiful and would have been so even in the deer woods but I feel better for staying home.

Last night in the shower, with the benefit of lots of hot water I discovered why I have been uncomfortable down in my groin. My left testicle is about 50% larger than my right testicle. I presume this swelling is an aftereffect of the surgery and related to the pain I have had in my abdomen. I thought that pain was related to the drain that had been in my belly. The whole thing is vaguely reminescent of a vasectomy and I hope that it can be resolved easily. I put in a call down to Fairview to let them know what's up so we will see what they say. My man junk still works but the moment of ectasy is somewhat diminshed by the twinges of pain that are not part of your normal intimate experience.

I know Karen blogged about beauty and it is true, my self-concept of beauty is marred at present. I expect that will diminish over time. What I have read from other ostomates indicates that before long you come to accept yourself and don't even think twice about your ostomy and the visual aspects of a bag on your belly.
Karen has been very supportive and keeps telling me I am beautiful. She also searched on-line and found a support belt for me. The belt allows me to wear my bag horiznontally. This means I can wear most of my pants just like before. I sometimes wear a belt, depending on how my belly feels but a belt was a real problem when the bag hung vertically.  I have taken to wearing suspenders because they help hold my pants up if I don't want the tightness of a belt. Now that part of life is approaching 'normal' except that I have this bulge on the right side of my belly and the bulge grows until I empty it.

The bulge is my ostomy bag and serves the same purpose as your colon, rectum and anus for those of you with all your parts intact. I have to empty the bag several times a day and it is another aspect of my life that will take some getting used to.  It is a real trick in the woods but that can be a different story for a different day. I have no regrets about my surgery though I sometimes find myself wishing my life and body could just be normal like everyone else. Or what passes for normal these days. I am not naive enough to believe everyone is normal. I know some of you better than that.

Today will be a walking day and a day to get caught up on some things that have been put aside in the past few days. John and Sue will be coming over for supper tonight and tomorrow we have Homz. And I will keep walking and taking myself out into the woods on nice days when I feel strong. I am trying to keep up on correspondence and emails but I am notoriously inconsistent when it comes to making myself check the computer. The  visions I had of working on small projects while at home is not even close to my reality so far. Like I said, I have a better understanding of what retired people mean when they tell you they don't know how they got anything done before they quit work.

So, that's it from camp. The counselor is beautiful and I have a crush on her. She likes it when I bring her coffee in the morning.  Thanks to all of you who have supported us. We have no doubts about the positive effects of all the prayers and good wishes you have sent our way. Take care of yourselves and your loved ones and know that Karen and I send our best to all of you, wherever you are.

Peace and love,
Mike