I cannot remember the last time I was this tired. Maybe it was when I was in the hospital. Sometimes I find it difficult to believe I have been 'out' for a month. Today is a repeat of yesterday- cloudy, foggy, damp, dark; too dark for me right now.
We made a trip to Duluth yesterday and visited with the genetic counselor. It should have been a fun trip; most of our road trips are, but I hadn't slept well and I had things on my mind and I forgot to bring the sunshine I needed to sustain me. I felt bad for Karen, who had been looking forward to the trip, as I had been, but I just wasn't very good company. I am sorry, baby.
We drove in rain most of the way. I kept looking into the wet empty woods wishing I could just walk and walk and walk. Somehow that seemed like the best thing I could do for myself and yet, it was the least likely to actually occur. Dianne, the genetic counselor, asked me questions about my family history and I tried, I really did try to answer them, but Dad's side of the family is just a big void in space and time. To this day, I never really know what happened. I just know that Mom never talked about my dad or his relatives. We had our short interview, discussed some of the questions and then they drew a vial of blood that will be sent to Mayo for analysis. In three weeks or so, we may know whether the genetic factor I have is limited to me or is inherited throughout our family. If the syndrome is inherited, then at least the specific gene will be identified and then my children and siblings can have that looked at without having to do the whole sequence all over.
So now we wait. The girls are inside, keeping me company, dozing on the floor. I think today is a major nap day. Right now, I have all I can do to stay awake. When I am more coherent, I will try to post something that is a bit more upbeat.
Later,
Mike
No comments:
Post a Comment