Waves on the Water

We are in a time of transition now. Lakes have opened up and we have waves on the water. Yesterday sunlight shimmered on the surface and made me squint against the brightness. A few weeks ago I squinted because of the sunlight on snow. The yard is a-flutter with migrating juncos and homesteading bluebirds. Mallards and hooded mergansers are staking out nesting sites along the shoreline at work. Grass is beginning to blush with the first real green of the year. Seems like everything is moving along a predetermined plan.

After many months of no problems at all I have been to the chiropractor three times in the past week. I spent an hour at urgent care the other day and came away with antibiotics for my sore throat/ cold/sinus problem that appeared this week along with the sore lower back. I am not fond of the way this transition is going for me. I am not sure if a predetermined plan exists for me, and if it does, I am not sure where I am going.

I  am a bit lost lately; sometimes lost in a fairly big way. I have this new lease on life and I have not come up with anything like a firm direction for the rest of my life. Or at least, for the next few months. So far this is not an area of concern; it is just something I am aware of. Looking back I would say I have never been very good at deliberately choosing a direction in my life and taking the steps necessary to achieve that goal. I have been one who tends to go along and try to make whatever happened, work for me somehow. That has not always been good, even though it has worked, sort of. I think the net result has been suppressed passive/aggressive tendencies, anger and depression. Been there, done that. Don't want to do that anymore. I am in need of positive transitions.

So in my own, slow, overly cautious way, I am trying to make some changes in my life. I have to regain some physical strength and fitness after months of treatment and meds. And as I gain physically I hope to make gains mentally and spiritually; to find those things that energize me, that make me want to take a direction with my life. Kind of a daunting task at my age but one is never too old to learn. At least that is what I keep telling myself.  I think patience is called for at this time.

Peace and love to all of you. Get out and enjoy spring.
Mike