We are home and when I say it's good to be home I mean it. The trip was long and hard and when I say hard I mean hard. Turns out I have a mid line episiotomy! Figured that out on Thursday night in the hotel when I unexpectedly was able to pass my water (how do ya like that antiquated term?) There was the wiping thing and then there was the holy cow thing. On both parts.
Now here is where I do one of those writing tricks and show you what a great guy Mike is instead of telling you he is. He looked. And there it was. Something I have never thought of having or thought I would have again, an episiotomy. For the few of you who don't know what I'm talking about Wikipedia says it's: a surgically planned incision on the perineum and the posterior vaginal wall during second stage of labour. See how old the procedure is? They even spell it in Old English. Trust me when I say there were NO stages of labor involved here. Just a surgeons need to get into an area that there was no other way to get to.
I'm forty-freaking-nine! I have not had one of these since Danny was born and he's pushing thirty. I guess I didn't think about it. I didn't ask about it and I didn't expect one but there on Thursday night was one AND I was going to have to ride the 350 miles home on it. If I hadn't had such bad gas cramps the entire way it might have been all I thought about but who knew I'd thank god for gas cramps. We made it home and to bed. This morning the first thing I did was sit in a bath tub full of warm water and Dreft soap. Ahhhh....it made things so much better. I even forgot for a while.
Until the "other" call of nature beckoned me. Suddenly the one thing I was hoping for turned into one of those "careful what you wish for" deals. This would be my first number two since Tuesday. I'd been taking something called Senna to help keep things soft and encourage my bowels to move naturally over night. This had been night four and I had NO idea what this was going to be like. Then I had a flashback to my postpartum days. I waffled. I want to....I don't want to...I want to...I don't want to...I have toooo......
In the end, you knew that was coming, in the end I was successful and called the one person I knew would totally join me in my enthusiasm. Sue. She woohooooed on the phone. We traded a coupla war stories and congratulated each other on little achievements. We are proud of ourselves and I say all this with a used Tonic bottle filled with ice and water keeping the girl bits cooled down and while wearing a tiara.
You'd like to know about the tiara huh?
Maybe later.
Peace,
Karen
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