Woowoo Baby Woowoo

Well my wiener is gone. This morning at 6:30 with Mike in attendance I removed my suprapubic catheter or what came to be known as my wiener.  The cath/wiener was put in during surgery to allow urine to pass from my body and give my bladder and it's parts a chance to recover from the reconstruction.

For the past 10 days I've  been retraining my bladder to function as it once had. The cath was a safety valve of sorts. A way to release any residual urine. When not in use my wiener was coiled up in my undies. Now, I have to tell you, I have a better understanding of why guys are always messing with their junk. My wiener, which hung to my knees, and yes I'm bragging, was just never where I wanted it to be or stay. After careful adjustment it would fall down my pants leg when I stood up. It would get caught here or pinched there. When it was loose, like in the shower, it was anyone's guess where it would be swinging or dangling. Also, because there was a balloon at the end that was in my bladder it caused tremendous bladder spasms nearly all the time. That was the annoying part.

Not all was annoying, however. It was nice to hook a bag up to it at night and not have to get up to pee. For a while I could choose between standing and sitting to go. It was hilarious fun to whip it out of my fly, shake it at Mike and yell, "woowooo baby woowooo" as I walked down the hall after him. It made my kids giggle when I asked them if they wanted to see my wiener. Oh, and did I say I was well hung? Turns out size does matter!

I remember back to when Mike was having radiation and had his hemorrhoid from hell. For a time he had to wear feminine hygiene pads. This gave him a glimpse of what it was like to be a girl. Well this was my brief chance to experience what it might be like to be a guy. If it's all the same to you I'll choose to remain a girl. The wiener was just too much to be in charge of, especially when I still had working girl bits.

And work they do. All has progressed as expected. I reported to the nurse yesterday and she gave me her blessing to take out my cath this morning. Mike snipped off the end. We drained the water from the balloon which held it in place and with a gentle tug slipped it out. The only sensation was of relief. Now a small gauze bandage covers the hole where once was my wiener and I'm back to being all girl except, thanks to Dr Gephart,  I'll never have to wear a feminine hygiene pad ever again. "Woohoo baby whoohoo!"

Peace,
Karen