Listen...

I just want to follow up on what Karen said earlier. And what Arrows and Jan and Jeff said, as well.

How bad does it have to be before people quit saying "Well, you know, it could always be worse."?
What was it Steve Martin said? "Well, EXCUUUUSE ME!" Karen and I know it could be worse; we get that but when your life is fine, when you have nothing to really complain about, then having cancer is the worst. I really don't want to know how bad my life has to be before people quit saying, "Well, you know...". I just want them to quit saying it, period.

'Long as I am on a roll, here's another great one. I had a friend tell me something like this. "There's good in the world and there's bad in the world and somebody has to have the bad stuff and you just have the bad stuff." Man, you gotta love that. What complete and utter BS. I suspect there are still a few people that would like to see my head on a plate but the truth is, I have worked damned hard to be a better person and turn my life around and I don't want any bad stuff. I have had enough bad stuff in my life, thank you very much. I have held my dead infant daughter in my arms. I have already had one go-round with cancer. I have survived depression. Why can't the really and truly bad people get the bad stuff? I have had more than my share. Let someone else carry this load and see how happy they feel.

Notice the last word in the last sentence: FEEL. That's the key word. We don't need to be asked "How are you?" We need to be asked "How do you feel?" And then stand back and listen. In our house the rule is: Don't ask the question if you don't want to know the answer. When we tell you how we feel and what we feel, you will know how we are.

Let's drop the cliches', no matter how well-intentioned. Say something real and meaningful. When we need help, then say something helpful. How will you know when to say something helpful and when to just sit and listen? You won't know: unless you ask or we tell you. This is the real deal and we did not want it in our lives and it is as bad as it needs to be.

"Have a nice day."

Peace,
Mike