This is your life

"This is your life." That's what Kimberly the Radiation Oncology nurse said yesterday when I was trying to explain my frustration with 3 extra days of chemo pump. She said, "It's only three more days in the grand scheme of things."

Ok, fair enough. Now, trade places with Mike and I. We have 8 weeks before surgery. In 8 weeks we enter the great unknown. Mike goes to sleep and doesn't know what he will wake up to and I sit in a room waiting on a Dr to tell me what the rest of OUR lives will look like. We don't know going in if Mike will have a temporary or permanent ostomy. We don't know if the cancer is gone or spread. The only thing we do know is that for the next 8 weeks he will have nothing hanging from his body and our lives will be pretty normal, just like yours.

"Lot's of people have ostomys and live normal lives." We hear that too. Mostly from people who know people with ostomys. It's pretty easy to say how it's gonna be when it's not really you. But let's think about this - look down at your abdomen and think about pooping out a hole into a bag. Think about what that hole looks like. Think about trying to make love to your wife with your poo hole and bag. Think about being the wife and watching your beloved struggling to cope and then you yourself struggling with trying to cope and trying to be brave and trying to convince yourself that this is ok and you can live with this because this is your life. Think about yourself making love with more stuff in the way. Really, think about it.

Now when you think about all of this approaching, when you think about 8 weeks before you are turned upside down and emptied out again, do those three extra days without a pump seem important?

Yeah, this is our life. This is our life and we get that but thanks Kimberly for reminding us. I guess we weren't thinking straight.

Keepin' the Peace,
Karen