Hey, Hey, I'm all pumped up
I am not trying to make a bad pun, but I am pumped. I have a small chemo pump that whirrs every few minutes, giving me another 0.1 mls. of 5-FU. While this stuff is a poison, in a sense, and we have our own chemo spill cleanup kit, I prefer not to think of it in a negative sense. You won't catch me calling my medicine a bad name; that's just bad juju, plain and simple.
I know Karen is, or was, having some difficulty dealing with what this whole process is doing to me, and us, because we are in this together and what affects me affects Karen as well. I feel a similar loss for 'her' spot on my shoulder. I know there are other considerations as well, that make dealing with this cancer, difficult for the woman I love. This is a process and we will have to work on it one day at a time.
I know that in a day or two I will feel more comfortable with my medicine bag. The tubing and fittings feel a bit awkward and the port is lump that stings a bit because of the needle. I just try to tell myself this is only temporary and that I, we, can do this for the next 5 1/2 weeks. I know that we will look back and be grateful. We may even wonder what all the fuss was about. I am in this for a complete cure and I don't want any obstructions, or slowdowns. I don't want to have to stop because of low blood counts or mouth sores or diarrhea. We have started and I want everything to be forward progress from here on out.
Karen and talked last night about some of the aspects of this that are so hard for her. And she is correct. The cancer patient has an easier time than the loved one, or spouse or caregiver. We each have our unique areas of worry and interest. Where they intersect, we are one in seeking a cure. When our areas don't intersect we are sometimes alone, with our worries and fears. I like to think Karen and I are aware of this and the need to continue to improve our communication. This is too big and scary to do all by yourself. We need each other even if we aren't always looking at the problem in the same way.
On a funnier note, I believe she mentioned 'old people sex' which always gives us a laugh but then I guess you'd have to be there and believe me, you don't want to see that. Anyway, we should probably mention some of the 'interesting' aspects of the recent changes to this part of our life.
The first Pop Quiz is over. Three contestants came forth and we will be anouncing the winners in a future blog. Take care everyone. We'll see you again, soon.
Peace,
Mike
7 comments:
Hi Mike,
Great attitude about your medicine bag, the way you veiw it will make a difference in how you feel. And about old people sex, do we really want to go there??? You've heard about our backs enough to know that you've got to be REALLY in the mood to give it a go. Good thing the hormones slow down with the old bods! Take care, Jan
Gads! I thought I was ugly. Did you have an extra bowl of it for breakfast? Just kidding little brother, you look the picture of health and vitality Just can't figure out how you caught Karen! There I go again. Now, do you hang that thing on the bedpost at night with your bubble gum and how do you keep from getting all tangled up in the tubes?
I guess I had better go get more coffee and do something other than bother you. Keep positive and we are praying for you two up there.
Terry/Judy
LOL you all make me laugh with all the "old people sex". Yep we are there, akkk, we are now "old". I suppose like most things it all has to be approached with a sense of humor.
Mike I may be one of the weird one (okay stop laughing, you already knew that) But I am fascinated by your pictures. I have felt ports before but never seen one hooked up before. I am actually surprised there doesn't seem to be an incision. I know there has to be one, right? Sorry if you don't want to talk about it. But I am curious.
I think medicine bag is a great way to think of your pump and it's contents.
Hugs and love,
Susan
Mike- This is Terry- Ron & I biked with you and Karen a couple of weeks back- just writing to say hello and to say we so get how much this sucks! Ron had major prostrate cancer 4 years ago- big surgery with major issues- with radiation but onward- we so agree with much of what you have beenn expressing. Hang in- Terry
Hey Terry & Ron,
Thanks for the post and the understanding. We had a great time biking with you guys! Lis' and EK were just here talking about paddling. Let's all do that sometime!
Dear Anonymous,
I may be ugly but you were born in Iowa and I can get plastic surgery to make me beautiful. You big meany, you.
Thinking of both of you. Hope you are feeling as good as can be expected. At least, Mike, you're not married to a mean drunk. That would be bad :)
Sherry
Post a Comment